All the work you've done in the last three chapters -- the exercises, the checklists, and gaining understanding of who is really responsible -- has been preparing you for confrontation. Confrontation means facing your parents thoughtfully and courageously about your painful past and your difficult present. It is the most frightening and at the same time the most empowering act that you will ever perform.
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The process is simple, though not easy. When you are ready, you calmly but firmly tell your parents about the negative events you remember from your childhood. You tell them how those events affected your life and how they affect your relationship with your parents now. You clearly define the aspects of that relationship that are painful and harmful to you now. Then you lay out new ground rules.
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The purpose of confrontation with your parents is not:
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to retaliate
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Chapter 13: Confrontation: The Road to Independence
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