Children of toxic parents have so much need for parental approval that it prevents them from living the lives they desire. It's true that most adults have at least some ongoing enmeshment with their parents. If asked, "Are you able to have your own thoughts, actions, and feelings without in any way considering your parents' hopes or expectations?" few could answer with a categorical "yes." In fact, in a healthy family, some amount of enmeshment is beneficial. It helps to create feelings of belonging, of family communion. Even in healthy families, however, that influence can go too far. And in toxic families it goes right off the scale.

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